Nobody ever said life was gonna be easy, but it sure is worth it. These are words I try to live by every day. Nobody, and certainly not me, is perfect. We all have our battles, our demons and our problems. It’s how we face and handle them that defines us and makes us who we are, and shows everyone else what we are made of.
Four years ago, I found myself moving into an empty in-law apartment in my parents’ house, after living on my own for about eight years. Since then, my life has been flipped turned upside down (just like the Fresh Prince), and back over again. It wasn't easy, but I’m still standing.
That was fifty pounds lighter ago. In a nutshell the last four years went like this: I moved into my parents’ house, where my three teenage “I can eat what I want and don’t gain an ounce” siblings live. My job was outsourced, and I was laid off. A seven year on again/off again relationship ended, which was totally devastating. My car broke down two weeks later and I had to get a new one (which was seriously like the Uncle Buck mobile). I decided I was going to go to nursing school, which took about 3 years, and was its own very special kind of hell. I ended up with a job I despised while in school, and ate my misery away. I studied (while sitting on my butt eating skittles and chees- itz) and took my nursing boards, which was worse than having my eyes poked out. My dad became very ill over the last four years, and passed away this past August, which in and of itself was enough to make anyone turn to pizza, chips and cookies…. Oh and let’s not forget beer and martinis. I started a new job in September, and then the Uncle Buck mobile died a week later and had to be replaced. Meanwhile, since August, I have also been in two weddings, one which was out of state, and have been taking 2 classes working toward my next degree.
Looking back at that, only two words come to mind: I survived. Not only did I survive, but I am a stronger, smarter person for all of the life lessons that were thrown at me.
I have had a weight problem my whole life, this was nothing new to me. Before all of that ish hit the fan, I had gotten to my lowest weight in years, and was in a really good place mentally and physically. I was health conscious, working out, eating right and just an all around happier, healthier person. It wasn't one particular thing that started my cascade of issues, but I’m certainly glad they are mostly behind me now. Sure, I’m still grieving the loss of my dad, and probably will be for the rest of my life, but I know what he would want for me. I hear him at every turn telling me to keep truckin’. He was my biggest supporter, next to my mom, of course. He himself went on this same journey, and I watched the way his weight affected his life. He is somewhere watching over me, cheering me on, telling me to get my goods together and stop “f’ing around.” It’s time to get rid of my excuses, stop making time for everything and everyone else, and to focus on getting ME back to good.
For me, losing weight isn't about physical appearance, although that’s obviously a bonus. It’s more about having a healthier, clearer state of mind and body. It’s about being able to take care of my patients, and them have confidence that I am practicing what I am preaching about their health. It’s about being around for my young siblings, niece and nephews, and being the cool, fun sister/aunt that can get out and do physical things with them. It’s about living my life and enjoying what the world has to offer without having limitations. I don’t want to be that person, who in thirty years, looks back at my life and regrets all of the things I didn’t do because I was too overweight or unhealthy to withstand the task. I want to be able to look back and see that all of these challenges, including my weight issues, added strength and built my character into a person that I am proud to be.
So, come share my journey with me. Give me advice and learn from my mistakes. Let’s help each other and lean on each other for support, and pick each other back up when we fall. I have about 75 pounds I’d like to lose. Everybody has to start somewhere, right? I choose to start here!! Do you?
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